ahhhhh track 2! there’s some lyrics with a bit of shock value in this one. and the number one spot for that title is certainly secured by…..

“*just for entertainment, drag me up and down the pavement,*
*got me tied up in your basement, wanna fuck me but you hate me.*”

i’m not bout to go all genius (or therapist’s couch) on this line for you, either you get it or you don’t. but, let’s break the concept behind the song itself down a bit. superstar v8 invites a transmutation of your trauma into your greatest superpower and/or your deadliest weapon. by not allowing myself to rot in a victim mentality, i realize i am in fact not what i have been through and that i must utilize those experiences to my advantage. it embodies the cliche mentality rags to riches, in which one must hit rock bottom before they can ever have a taste of their 15 minutes of fame. this track touches on abuse i’ve lived through, what it’s done to the way i act and view the world, and finally, what it can do for me, moving forward. there’s a lot of power stored in the pain if you learn the tools to utilize it in a healthy way.

*“a narcissist with name plates, thats my favorite language…*
*as long as you embrace it, promise i can take it.”*

this videooooooo! before someone else asks, no, it’s not a mask and no, they are not all individually placed on my face. they are mirror tile stickers. most are strips, some are cut down for trickier spots, and those tight spaces required some eyelash glue too. it took me like an hour and a half, and it was hard to make any expressions other than the deadpan stare you see in a lot of the polaroids lol.

the big theme across all three shoots for this video was round. lol. disco ball, baby chubby cheeks, and glitter face, all gave me this similar shape that i enjoyed playing with. this is the first video from this project that you’re seeing that i edited myself. i grew up editing videos on windows movie maker and making stop motion videos with my toys and on whiteboards. i thoroughly enjoy the post production process, no matter how strenuous it can be at times. i learn something- more like many things- along with each project i complete. this ain’t baby’s first rodeo in the video world.

so for scene one, there was two locations.

a huge part of the visuals on this project includes world building. for me this means creating an new atmosphere, but you really can’t do that by using recognizable locations. so, with this project, you’ll often find me using things like backdrops, or framing the compositions of shots so that you can tell where the subject is relatively but without overtly pinpointing a specific location.

i needed a basic black backdrop, for the disco face to pop, so i borrowed a couple contractor bags from BICA and hung them up in our shared studio at HUNT. we turned off the lights and used chango’s tube light for blue hues and panel light for more direct light. San was also present at this shoot, helping play music, take polaroids, lighting when needed. anddd chango was standing on my chair tryna get the good angles lol. i wanna add that shoots with just chango and san were some of my favorites, that is when chango wasn’t rushing me or basically begging for the shoot to be over before it even started lmfao. additionally, i wanted to show this look off in a more natural light, so we headed to delaware park took a brief walk, and ended up shooting in the grass on the hill near my favorite sitting rock. glasses are off with the disco look so only chango and san got the pleasure of seeing passerby’s reactions.

after we wrapped scene one, we went to mister sizzles and i tried to eat a burger with the disco face intact, spoiler alert, it did not work. i did score a compliment from a younger girl and made a tiktok that ended up getting mad engagement bc cr1tter pinned it to their page and commented on it lol.

so blessed to have angela and aasiha grace this visual!

scene two was with the wonderful baby aaisha and momager angela guest. it was the first ever shoot for anything that took place in my current apartment, which felt really special. I set a cozy scene with my giant kewpie baby filet crochet tapestry (that’s a mouthful), my childhood beanbag and bunny (you’ve seen a lot of this bunny throughout this project, hmmmm), and suspended mini disco balls from above. angela brought the cutest outfit options and aasiha was a natural. we gave her my jimmy crystal sunglasses and she turned her diva on. chango was present for bts and silas too helping out with lighting our superstar talent. we got soooo many cute polaroids and i was shooting on my canon with a film lens, i ended up switching lenses but i liked the film lens footage the most, and you see most of that in the official video.

scene three with p trish? u wish! was a whirlwind. i had agreed to crochet ryan a bunny balaclava in exchange for their time and energy for help with this project, and they wore it in the video. i did not expect to run so late with completing it, but as i was sewing in my ends, ryan was also running a bit late. everything falls into place. this shoot was a bit risky, my neighbors had this overgrown backyard with morning glories that i absolutely loved to veiw from my fire escape, i knew i had to shoot something there. i borrowed a wooden step from bica school and threw it down there with some candles. luckily chango was here to help keep everything running smooth downstairs, while i was upstairs on my fire escape with my cameras, and silas was hanging out my bedroom window with a spotlight. we played the song but were also trying to be respective of my neighbors as it was pretty late.

i don’t really feel like writing a conclusion, but overall, my advice is to just tap into that pain you have stored and make it into your superpower. use it to fuel your art and let it drive you forward. might take you down a path you didn’t anticipate. but a path that facilitates growth and healing for you, without being so overt in it’s mission.